I got a flurry of emails in response to it and would love to hear your feedback. Maybe you met in real life and flirted for two straight hours.This is long, so make sure you have 5 minutes to yourself. Maybe you’ve been emailing and talking on the phone every night for a week.
Just last month, I met a cute guy and we went out and had so much fun together. Now it’s been a month and we’ve gone out four times.
The last time I saw him, I asked him if we could define our relationship. I decided that everything was probably okay until yesterday when my brother went to a coffee shop and saw him with another girl.
Maybe you had an effortless first date that lasted until 2am.
If you’ve been reading my newsletters long enough, you know that while such events are all encouraging, none of them qualify as “real”.
In response, he started talking, but somehow didn’t really say anything, and I got the feeling he was probably seeing someone else. Everything was still so new between us, so I let the subject drop. I’m afraid to bring this up with him because the conversation didn’t go well the last time; he’s obviously not ready to be exclusive with me. My friend, you are an unwitting victim of the new culture that I call “the Tinder Revolution.” Although it’s always been possible to see more than one person at a time, technology – and Tinder, where one swipes right or left to meet or reject another – is just one app of many that has made it much easier for us to encounter, get-to-know, and “communicate” with multiple people simultaneously.
But here’s the thing: We have so much fun together. My best friend tells me to relax – this is just how dating is. I’m going nuts thinking about him dating other girls. However, despite the apparent benefits, the Tinder Revolution often leaves us feeling less self-confident, confused, frustrated, and empty. Everybody wants to feel special and to be treated with love and respect.
See, you’re identifying each man as the problem here. After all, if 50% of all guys are going to disappoint, then this behavior is utterly predictable. But then after exchanging several emails and a few phone conversations, he told me he was dating someone else and that he would call if things didn’t work out, and I was a bit upset by that. She doesn’t assume that they’re “together” because they kissed.
Every time I date a nice guy, especially if I like him, I feel so insecure and wonder, what if he’s dating someone else at the same time?
The thing I need help with is I have no idea if he’s maybe talking to and/or seeing other girls. your only choice is to figure out how to keep yourself stable and stop worrying.
I personally am not interested in other boys, and while at the moment I’m still happy with seeing how things go, I just want to know how he feels it’s going with us. I’ve seen men and women make the mistake of fixating on one person and jumping way ahead into thinking about where things could lead and what their relationship could become. We have a notion in our culture that a relationship with someone somehow entitles you to that person, almost like they are your property or possession… I can guarantee that if you get wrapped up in worrying about what he’s doing, you’ll do things that will harm your chances.
(Watch out for these 4 Online Habits That Say He's Not Boyfriend Material.)As for who we’re dating, one in five of the people surveyed have dated a friend’s ex, while one in 10 have dated their own boss.